What Would You Do?
by AngelofAperture
Summary: Vanellope asks Ralph, Felix, and Calhoun what they would do with their remaining time if they knew the surge protector was going to get unplugged. This leads to some...interesting conversations to say the least. A comedic little oneshot.


What Would You Do?

"Man, that was a close one!" said Vanellope as she hopped up on the couch next to Ralph. She was in Felix's apartment, where she, Ralph, Felix, and Calhoun were hanging out,

"I know!" said Calhoun. "I thought sure we were all going to get a game over."

"Aw, it's no big deal," said Felix. "Ralph and I have been through a million power outages" They were referring to a power outage that happened earlier that morning due to a snow storm knocking out a power line.

"We're all lucky we're plugged into a surge protector," Ralph added. "But even then, _everyone _always freaks out whenever there's an outage. It's crazy!"

"Okay, can you fill me in here?" asked Calhoun, who had never been through an outage in her short time in the arcade.

"Well," Felix began. "Whenever there's a power outage and everything goes dark, we're all fine since we're plugged into a surge protector, which, you know, does exactly what the name says. But of course, everyone always panics! Thinking we're all doomed. It's silly, really."

"I know, right?" Vanellope said. "All the racers were freaking right the heck out! Kind of makes you think though. I mean, what if we were all going to go at once. Like it the surge protector were unplugged and never plugged back in!"

"I don't even want to think about it!" said Ralph.

"No really! Vanellope continued. "Say you knew we were all going to get unplugged in a few hours. What would you do with that time left?" The other three found this a very good question and really thought about it. Suddenly, Calhoun smirked at Felix.

"Felix, remember we talked about this?" asked Calhoun to Felix. while nudging him suggestively Felix gave an uncomfortable laugh…

"Please, Tammy, not in front of Vanellope!" he told her as he awkwardly smiled. Calhoun got a good laugh out of this. "Well," Felix said. "I would spend as much time as I could with the rest of my friends in the arcade. And as much time as possible with Tammy."

"You bet you would…" Calhoun muttered, smiling. "You know something I've always wanted to do?" she said in reply to Vanellope's question. "I've always wanted to go into Tapper's and just smash all those bottles on the wall. I just feel like it would be so satisfying… And I might go insane just for the heck of it! Like…I might have to kill someone!"

"Wow…" said Felix, scooting away from her slightly.

"Yeah…" Calhoun continued. "I mean, I'd only have like 8 hours or whatever to live, might as well."

"Well, then…" Ralph began to ask. "How dare you deprive that character from his or hers last few hours of time then?

"Um…" Calhoun thought for a moment. "I don't really care! Because it's the last day of my life."

"Well, Sarge," said Ralph. "Every now and then there's a game that knows it's getting unplugged, but the character from that don't go out smashing up Tapper's or killing other characters."

"Yes, but this is like the last day for _everyone_," Calhoun argued. "We're all going to die anyway, so there's no repercussions. No mourning families, you know? And then head right to Felix's place, if you catch my drift." Felix quickly shushed her.

"Yeah, I can see you doing that," said Vanellope, much to the disturbance of Ralph. "The other Sugar Rush racers and I would probably just go crazy and eat as much of Sugar Rush as we could. Just eat everything! The ground, the trees, the castle! You know?"

Ralph chuckled. "I might join you on that one," he said. "I'd either do that or just spend time with all my friends at the Bad-Anon meetings."

"That's boring!" Vanellope complained. "You'e boring, Ralph! What's something you've always wanted to do, but were always afraid to admit you wanted to. Give me your honest answer!"

"Well…" Ralph started. "I've always just wanted to _destroy _one of those Pac-Man mazes! They're just so…perfectly constructed, it's like they're _asking _me to wreck them!"

"That is so typical you!" Vanellope told him. "I've always kind of wanted to just dunk Sour Bill into a tub of water and see how long it takes for him to dissolve. I'd have to knock him out first though."

"Wouldn't that be a bit…morbid?" Ralph asked.

"He told me what you did!" Vanellope said, narrowing her eyes at him. "And it got me curious! What _is _at his center?!"

"Well, I'm not sure how much more straightforward I can get…" said Calhoun. "But I did leave out _how _I would kill that person. I'd probably put both of my thumbs over this person's eyes and just push as hard as could! See, shooting them would be tooeasy. And then I'd–"

"Tammy!" Felix shouted, interrupting her. "That's quite enough, honey!"

"Hey, Fix-It, what would you want to do?" asked Vanellope. "Remember, this is your honest answer! It won't leave this room! I promise!"

Felix though for a moment and then told them, "Well, I've always kind of wanted to kick Gene in the teeth." Everyone in the room burst out laughing and it went on for a good minute before they all finally calmed down.

* * *

**I know, I am horribly morbid and come up with some sick stuff. But to be fair, I did sort of steal a lot of elements of Sgt. Calhoun's story from Stephen Merchant on the Ricky Gervais show. So, credit for that jokes goes to him.**


End file.
